It was a dangerous time for the UNSC Pillar of Autumn. Getting away from Reach was quite rough on the slipspace drive. And the Covenant fleet wasn't far behind.
"Have we lost them, Cortana?" Captain Jake Keyes asked the small A.I. female standing near him.
"I think we both know the answer to that," Cortana replied.
Chief burst into the room. "Captain! We're under attack!"
"Covenant?!" Cap asked, alarmed.
"Worse!" Chief said, horrified.
The crew went to investigate what Chief had seen. They saw a pair of SPARTANs making a mess of the engine room. One was orange and was eating Oreo cookies, the other was maroon, and was tinkering with the engine itself.
"Don't touch that!!" An engineer yelled at the red one.
"You're getting crumbs all over the equipment!!" Another growled at the orange one.
"So sue me! I need a place to eat around here-- Oh my god, Simmons! You're gonna kill us all if you don't leave that alone!!" The orange one said.
"No I won't, Grif! Watch!" The maroon one shot back, and then the engine blew up, with a bridge from a nearby ship that wasn't there before entering the Autumn.
"Covenant!!" Sergeant Johnson called out, and the Marines (Chief with them) got into position. But what came out were some white-armored humans with blaster rifles. After they were taken out, a big black one showed up, and killed Chief with a force choke.
"ALL YOUR BASE R BELONG TO US!" Darth Vader declared. "SURRENDE--" And then the ship quaked as an actual Covenant ship appeared. They were boarded, and the Covenant were like "lolwut?".
The humans all tried to explain at once, but they kept interrupting eachother.
"... Who writes this stuff?" Thel 'Vadam said in frustration. "Covenant, let's get out of here! These humans are giving me a headache!", and they go.
By @Akamia
