For a long time, liked her, but I just couldn't love her. My partner at the time (ex now) had saw her at PetSmart up for adoption. She said it was a combination of her looks & her loud mouth that had drawn her to her cage. She knew that I'd like her...she knew that I had a weakness for tortoiseshells, but it was so soon, my own cat had just died less then a month ago. She took that chance anyway. Only because the cat was listed as 'unadoptable' she was listed as such beacause she does not like young, rambunctious puppies, & she absolutely HATES other cats...male OR female, young, old, don't matter, she just DESPISES other cats of ANY kind, gender, or age, so her adoption options were very limited, causing them to give her that status as 'unadoptable' they had been trying unsuccessfully to adopt her out for almost a month, noone wanted such a fussy cat. My partner (again, my ex now) took that chance & bought her, & brought her home for me. I liked her as I said, but I just couldn't bond with her. I couldn't LOVE her...it was still so painful. My heart was still with my other cat Frisky.
I was only 8 years old when I got Frisky. My babysitter found him in a dumpster, he was about 12 weeks old, she nursed him back to health, brought him to my door & put him in my arms. It was a Thursday afternoon, just after my birthday. I was playing with some toys I'd gotten for my birthday when she did it. By the time my mom was done talking to her & turned around to see me & the kitten, I was already playing with him, attached, already had him named. She had no choice at that point but to say it was ok to keep him. 17 years later, when I was 24 years old...4 DAYS AFTER MY BIRTHDAY, we had to bring him to the vet, his heart was failing, he was so old, they couldn't do anything for him...it was best to put him to sleep. I was heart broken. I still am heartbroken to this day. I remember everything about him, every little thing he did. How he would curl against me when I was upset, knowing his breathing would calm me down. How if I wiggled my fingers when he was little, he would attack my fingers...such little things.
Now, less then a month after his loss, I had this new cat in my life, taking over, taking his spot, his home. I liked Leah, but I just couldn't bring myself to love her yet. It would take some time. I knew we had to get another cat soon so the dog didn't get to used to being alone & get jealous. Right from the beginning, my partner wanted to use Frisky's things for Leah...I refused...that was not tolerable. using his dish for Leah, his litter box, his box for a bed. NO, she was taking his home, that was all I was allowing for now. She knew that I needed time & she let it go & went out to buy another set of dishes. Her sister gave us a litter box she didn't use & a kitty condo type thing that she also didn't need. Something to SEPARATE Leah from Frisky, exactly what I needed. When I had Frisky, as he got older, & had trouble jumping (we had his food on the counter because the dog likes cat food also), we used a kitchen chair so he had less of a jump. I still have that chair. My sister suggested the other day that we throw the chair out, We found out that I still wasn't quite ready to let go when at the suggestion, I began to cry.
Slowly, I have become attached to Leah. Her adorable, laughable, crazy antics have sucked me in. I've learned slowly that I can love Frisky & his memory, & still love Leah. I know that I can remember Frisky & the 17 years of memories that I have produced with him. I know that I can enjoy the new memories that I will produce with Leah for as long as she lives with us.