Over the past six months ur husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of u from the store.Our complaints agianst Mr.Denner are listed below and are documented by are video surveilance cameras.
July 2:Set all the alarm clocks in house-wares to go off at 5-minute intervals
July 7:Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the womens restroom
July 19:Walked up to an employee an told her in an offical voice "Code 3 in house-wares. Get on it right away."
August 4:Went to the service department and tried to put a bag of M&M on layaway.
September 14:Moved a "CAUTION WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
September 23:When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed "Why cant u ppl just leave me alone?!"
October 4: Looked right into a security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
November 10:While handling guns in the hunting department he asked a clerk where the antidepressents were.
December 3arted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
December 6:In the auto department he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sized funnels.
December 18:Hid in a clothing rack and when ppl browsed through yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
December 21:When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumed a fatal position and screamed "OH NO ITS THOSE VOICES AGIAN!"
December 23:Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly "HEY THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"
Once agian we cannot tolerate this behaviour in our store.
I like how all the grammar was good except all the "u"s and "ur"s. U is a letter. Ur is a city in Iraq.
I received this same email about 12 years ago, so it is not original but is still funny. One Halloween some friends and I were planning on dressing like zombies so that we could go shopping at WalMart. Unfortunately, work schedules got in the way. We were planning on limping around the store and moaning. We were planning on picking up heads of lettuce and moaning "braiiiins". Feel free to take the idea.
By @Elly the Cat
arted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
@HullBreach
